Guess what Jess the Doula Said

I am a pretty expressive person. Those of you who read my blog posts regularly probably already have a sense of this! In person, I often talk with my hands and seem to (apparently) amuse my friends with pronounced facial expressions.

As a result, my birth friends have taken up creating captions for facebook photos I’ve been tagged in. It seems no matter what I am caught doing on camera, those who know me assume I must be talking about birth, and in particular, cervical exams (admittedly, I DO tend to have a pretty strong stance on routine cervical exams during childbirth).

I thought I would share a few of their made-up captions for your amusement, in the interest of a bit of self-deprecating humour:

“…And so, the moral of the story is that too many pelvic exams can slow down a birth!”

“…and after a totally unnecessary cervical exam, the OB told the mom that she still had to dilate by this much!”

The speculation is the look on my face indicates I must have just heard someone say “Let’s do a cervical exam just do see how you’re getting along”

…”And then they did another cervical exam and I’m like, oh nooooo!”
Photo: Jackie Dives, Vancouver Birth Photographer

It seems that my friends believe I have some kind of obsession with the cervix, and that the only thing I could ever POSSIBLY be talking about is how people should keep their latex-gloved fingers OUT of a birthing woman. I wonder where they get that idea???

Captions provided by my silly friends (Charlie & Chloe) who tease me (incessantly) on facebook.

Don’t know me well enough to understand my obsession with cervical exams?┬áCheck out my article, The C- Word: Cervical Exams during childbirth

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  4 comments for “Guess what Jess the Doula Said

  1. Urban Doula - Chloe Dierkes
    January 6, 2013 at 9:16 pm

    HAHA I am so glad you shared these. I’m just a-waitin’ for more fun photos of you on facebook to be posted.

  2. December 17, 2012 at 6:31 pm

    I’ve given one of those a caption in my head already, the brunch one, it goes…
    “You are going to get HUUUUUUUUGEEEEEE”. Again. The cervix. And constant need to measure/poke/prode.

    I love how animated you are (in word and in person).

  3. December 11, 2012 at 10:11 pm

    You crack me up!

  4. December 11, 2012 at 10:09 pm


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