Wrens birth was fast and furious! It was New Year’s eve and also the eve of a super moon. I watched the huge glowing orb rise up 
from behind snowy mountain tops and prayed that the pull of this great moon would bring baby sparrow into the world.
We had been waiting with bated breath for weeks for the birth to begin. I was so sure that it would happen before the estimated due date just like Sage’s birth. Grammy/Mom had been here since Christmas and it was so nice to have her help with Sage and to do cooking and cleaning while I was feeling so large and tired. Finally it seemed like waiting around wasn’t working, she decided to go into Vancouver for New Year’s eve with her boyfriend Peter. Everyone who heard that joked that the baby would surely come now!
After waffle breakfast club at Saskia’s that morning I went for a nice walk through the meadow with Saskia, Chela, and Harmony. Harmony asked how I was feeling and, after hearing my answer, remarked “okay so you’re in early labour”. I was feeling mildly crampy on and off for days. My pelvis and hips felt loose and achy, baby’s head was low.
After taking some photos of the almost full moon that evening, I asked Chris to take a photo of me. I wanted to share on social media that being almost two weeks ‘overdue’ was normal and natural and I was patiently waiting. Mostly I was patient but I was also getting really anxious to meet the baby.
I laid down on the couch to relax and posted the 41 + 5 photo. I felt a ‘pop’ feeling and a rush of warm water- my water had broken while I was just quietly laying there! Yippee! I excitedly told Chris who was sitting at his desk and Sage was curious about what had broken… surely when things break it’s a bad thing! I reassured her it was all okay and she went back to watching My Little Pony.
I texted Jessica and she said she would head to the next ferry, the 6:50pm sailing. I started cleaning the bathtub, tidying up, and making a ‘labour-aid’ drink. Around 6:30 I was starting to feel waves as opposed to general cramping and I texted Andrea the midwife to say there was no need to rush over but maybe she could try to catch the last ferry over (9:40).
We told Sage the baby was probably coming tonight or tomorrow. Chris took care of the bedtime routine with as usual, but when Jessica texted around 715 that her car was stuck at the top of our driveway, Chris went out to help her and I switched in to be with Sage.
I sang her songs in the dark, but while laying down my waves started coming stronger. I told Sage I would have to stop and take deep breaths to help with the intense feelings inside my body. She could either be quiet with me or sing a song. She chose to sing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Spiderman theme songs.
She was so sweet and loving as she sang in her tender voice and held both my hands with her’s. I will remember that moment in labour with such fondness, my daughter doula-ing me with so much love.
When Chris and Jessica came back to the house I told him I needed to get up as the intensity was too much laying down. He said something about needing to work on getting Jessica’s car out, he didn’t realize that this was the real deal! The car could wait! I told him he had to stay and finish bedtime the Sage, so he did.
I held onto the countertops and rocked during waves for about 10 minutes and then suddenly asked Jess very seriously “what do we do now? What are the things that can help?” Things were picking up, she offered to fill up the bathtub and I agreed that would be great. It was around 8pm- active labour had begun!
Jess made the bathroom into a dark birthy sanctuary with just a couple candles burning. It was so beautiful. The warm water was soothing and I lay on my side and let the water relax me open. I had to have my face close to the inner bathtub wall for some reason, eyes closed, feeling physically close to something.
With each wave I got a flush of heat and I told Chris to get the fan to cool me off and move the stuffy air. I knew what I wanted and wasn’t afraid to give directions!
Soon laying down was unbearable- I couldn’t get comfortable and I complained that no position felt good. “Is it too late to fill up the birth pool?” I asked Jess. She told me she could do it but it would require her to be away from me for about 30 minutes. No way! I wanted her with me, so instead I just stood up in the tub to finish labouring upright.
Saskia arrived quietly and started taking photos in the dark. I was glad she was there and that she was such a close friend I could just keep doing my birthing, being inward and didn’t feel the need to come out of my zone to greet her.
I had so much intense energy in my body! I had to shake my hands vigorously, make loud toning noises, hit the walls, and do ‘horse lips’. A few times a slew of curses came tumbling out- it felt good to complain about it! “F this stupid f-ing s*#$!”. And “oh no, not again! No, no, no… okay yes, yes, ooooopen” I tried slapping Jessica’s hands, and pulling on a rebozo (long scarf) to discharge some of the energy charging through me.
The low toning noises turned into deep pushy yelling. I could feel baby’s head deep in my pelvis. It had been about an hour of intense waves, surely I wasn’t ready to push yet! Jessica reassured me to listen to my body and follow my urges.
At one point baby started kicking furiously inside my belly! I was not into that at all, it was strong and made the waves seem to last longer! “Stop it baby, this is my break time!!” But she was trying to kick her way down between waves, it seemed.
I had the impulse to get down low, one knee down and one foot down, so my bottom was in the water. My analytical brain kicked in- ‘I wonder if I’m getting low because the baby is about to come out?’. It was funny to have that inner reflection on the animal part of me that just knew how and when to move.
Jessica asked if we wanted Sage to be woken up. I was unsure if that was a good idea as I was being so loud and everything felt so intense. She said it might be good to do it now so she could wake up slowly, I’m so glad that she said that. Chris went and got her and she was witness to the last moments of the birth.
I had been pushing for about twenty minutes and could suddenly feel a little bit of head coming out. One or two pushes brought the rest of the head. “Start filming, the head is out!” I commanded (you can hear that in the video haha!). Under the water I could feel a fuzzy head and a little curly ear. Another push and baby’s body was halfway out. Half way out? My impulse was to pull her body a little as I pushed, so I did. Out she slid into the bathwater!
Sage watched from the safety of Chris’ arms. She was delighted to meet the baby and gave lots of kisses and gentle strokes. After about 5 minutes she turned to leave saying “this is kind of boring” so I invited her to check if she had a brother or sister as we hadn’t looked yet. It took her a moment to work it out, but her face brightened into a very sweet smile when she realized she had a little sister.
My mom and the midwives didn’t make it, but arrived shortly after. We had a toast at midnight with the turning of the new year.
I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect birth. Welcome wee Wren, we’re so glad you’re here 💕
Thank you so much to Jessica for your support and unwavering eye contact, for always knowing what I needed. Thanks to Andrea and Dawn for your care and making the big trek over to Bowen (with little Audrey in utero), and Saskia for taking photos. Mom, I’m so grateful for your help before and after the birth.