Guest post from a student who took my Miscarriage & Abortion workshop:
Last Friday, a friend texted me asking if she could chat about something. She said she was on her way to a clinic. My daughter was at my mum’s for the day leaving me totally available so I offered to meet her at the clinic. I walked into her room where moments later she was told her bleeding was likely a miscarriage, the pregnancy tests came back negative. My internal reaction was that I didn’t even know she was pregnant! But then I heard the voice of my teacher in a recent training I took.
One of the common barriers to support for miscarriage is that it often happens before the pregnancy has been shared with anyone, so people need to “double disclose” in order to reach out.
My friend cried, and the doctor and I teared up with her. This was a wanted pregnancy. As the Dr. left, I crouched down in front of her and all your words of wisdom arrived on my tongue. I had to breathe to pace myself, wanting to share everything with her but remembering vividly what holding space really meant.
Half an hour later, we walked out of the clinic arm in arm. I saw her strength emerge through the tears as she renamed her experience a pregnancy release, proud of her body’s normal, physiological, perfect and healthy determination of an unviable pregnancy. We fought through ideas of embarrassment and shame. And she was grieving still, but she was whole.
I just wanted to say thank you for implanting that very important seed in me about Miscarriage in November at Teresa’s Sacred Cycles. I didn’t want to need it so soon, but for her sake, I’m so glad I remembered your words.
Miscarriage can often feel like a scary, lonely, and isolating experience, but it doesn’t have to be! I offer support for miscarriage and abortion through my doula practice, and teach workshops on how to provide support through these experiences in your communities. An excerpt of my workshop is included in Teresa Campbell’s Sacred Cycles Training as well!
Click here for upcoming trainings in Miscarriage and Abortion.
Find me on instagram @jessicaaustinchildbirth or facebook Birth Takes A Village